#222. Silenced Whistle Tips

Black people love to make noise. As we have seen with rappers and sports stars, Black people have a constant need of attention that rivals a two-year-old.

Nowhere are Black people more notorious for trying to attract attention then by their vehicles. It is said that a car defines a man, and if this is so, Black people must be defined as perpetually stuck in the infamous The Simpson's episode where Homer meets his brother, a president of a prominent car manufacture (The episode is Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?). Homer designs a vehicle so ridiculous and tricked out that it bankrupts his brothers firm. Dubbed "The Homer," Black people found the car amazing and decided to incorporate into their imaginative designs.

Black people have taken a nod from this episode and attempted to out Homer, Homer Simpson in designing the most unimaginably horrifying vehicles that patrol motorways across the nation.

One of the main accessories Black people enjoy putting on their cars - besides rims - is the whistle tip, an item that:

"Whistle tips, also referred to as whistler tips, or whistlers, are modified vehicle exhaust pipes that generate a deafening whistling sound during the operation of a motor vehicle, and they can often be heard up to even a mile away.

The whistle tip is a small metal plate with a central hole that is welded into the inner tip of the exhaust pipe. As exhaust gasses are forced through the exhaust system under pressure, they pass through the hole, generating a whistling sound. This fad began within the Oakland Afro-American community..."

Black people, as we know, love attention. Nothing says attention like a whistle tip creating a deafening noise that would give the alien ships from War of the Worlds a run for the their money.

The noise so infuriated people that the decision was made to silence Black people's imaginative invention once and for all:

"As their sole purpose is to create very loud noises that often disturb the peace, whistle tips have received negative publicity, especially among the residents of certain locations where they are prevalent. In 2002, San Leandro, California redrafted its noise ordinance to ban the devices and the Oakland Police Department began cracking down on them by interpreting state laws as including tinkering with mufflers.

"The Berkeley City Council supported a measure by Assemblywoman Wilma Chan (D-Alameda) introduced a bill into the California State Assembly in 2003 which would effectively ban whistle tips in California. The bill was passed 22-15 by the state senate and then signed into law by Governor Gray Davis, going into effect on January 1, 2004. While violators will be subject to fines of $250 and businesses that install them can be fined up to $1,000, surcharges and enforcement fees will bring it up to $850 and $3,400."

Stuff Black People Don't Like includes silenced whistle tips, one of the most powerful inventions in Black people's canon of inventions, that has now been silenced by the envious white power structure.

Thankfully, Black people still have out-Homered Homer Simpson in hideous cars, but they have lost whistle tips and will be forced to invent another noise maker to make up for this inexcusable loss.

Show all

Read More

#287. People Locking Their Car Doors When They Approach

Black people know that white people look on them with suspicious eyes. Black people know that when they enter a store, the employees and owner cast numerous glances in their direction, in fear they might abscond with something since Black peoples favorite percentage off is 100 %.

Each day, Black people are faced with cautious indifference at shopping malls, grocery stores and other venues that do business, largely due to the perceived rate of crime that Black people commit. This ingrained attitude and prejudicial thoughts among white people have left them vulnerable to one of the most debilitating acts that can be done in front of a Black person: locking the car door when they approach.

Whenever a peddler, vagrant, vagabond or window washer approaches an idle car of white people at a stop light or stop sign, the first move that is made is to ensure that they are properly ensconced in said vehicle by checking the locks.

Black people who approach a car of white people will be rebuked seemingly effortless and with a "click" of the power locks, denied entry and access to those white people.

Black people hate this and many have wondered if it had been a Black actor in those early 1990s Grey Poupon commercials if they would have even had the chance to ask "Pardon me?"

Worse though, is that many Black people perform the exact same locking of the door when they see other Black people approach, for precautionary measures.

Black people do not enjoy having the car door locked on them when they approach an occupied vehicle and view this practice as demeaning, dehumanizing and superfluous. Yet this practice will continue and will be done by suburban and urban dwelling white people and Black people who feel unsafe when they see a Black person approaching their car.

Read More

#198. Waiting until 16th Birthday for Drivers License

Whereas most other racial groups can wait until at least their 15th birthday to acquire a learner's permit, and then, after a year of defensive driving courses and learning from their parents the rules of the road - and garnering an actual license - Black people are convinced the roads belong to them.

Learning about cars and the excitement they bring from hours of watching television and playing video games, Black people - like seven-year-old Latarian Milton in the video below - cannot wait to get behind the wheel of an actual car. Denying the intensity that Black people get when driving a precision vehicle - like young Mr. Milton - is one joy that they cannot deny.

When one views the tenacity and zeal Black people have for driving, it can be quite befuddling to learn that not one Black person is currently driving in the NASCAR Sprint Series.

Black people's longing to get behind the wheel of an automobile is puzzling, since historical documents and records prove that their ancestors in Africa are one of the only people on earth to not utilize the invention of the wheel.

Read More