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Thursday, 20 August 2009

#222. Silenced Whistle Tips

Posted on 19:41 by Unknown

Black people love to make noise. As we have seen with rappers and sports stars, Black people have a constant need of attention that rivals a two-year-old.

Nowhere are Black people more notorious for trying to attract attention then by their vehicles. It is said that a car defines a man, and if this is so, Black people must be defined as perpetually stuck in the infamous The Simpson's episode where Homer meets his brother, a president of a prominent car manufacture (The episode is Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?). Homer designs a vehicle so ridiculous and tricked out that it bankrupts his brothers firm. Dubbed "The Homer," Black people found the car amazing and decided to incorporate into their imaginative designs.

Black people have taken a nod from this episode and attempted to out Homer, Homer Simpson in designing the most unimaginably horrifying vehicles that patrol motorways across the nation.

One of the main accessories Black people enjoy putting on their cars - besides rims - is the whistle tip, an item that:
"Whistle tips, also referred to as whistler tips, or whistlers, are modified vehicle exhaust pipes that generate a deafening whistling sound during the operation of a motor vehicle, and they can often be heard up to even a mile away.

The whistle tip is a small metal plate with a central hole that is welded into the inner tip of the exhaust pipe. As exhaust gasses are forced through the exhaust system under pressure, they pass through the hole, generating a whistling sound. This fad began within the Oakland Afro-American community..."
Black people, as we know, love attention. Nothing says attention like a whistle tip creating a deafening noise that would give the alien ships from War of the Worlds a run for the their money.

The noise so infuriated people that the decision was made to silence Black people's imaginative invention once and for all:

"As their sole purpose is to create very loud noises that often disturb the peace, whistle tips have received negative publicity, especially among the residents of certain locations where they are prevalent. In 2002, San Leandro, California redrafted its noise ordinance to ban the devices and the Oakland Police Department began cracking down on them by interpreting state laws as including tinkering with mufflers.

"The Berkeley City Council supported a measure by Assemblywoman Wilma Chan (D-Alameda) introduced a bill into the California State Assembly in 2003 which would effectively ban whistle tips in California. The bill was passed 22-15 by the state senate and then signed into law by Governor Gray Davis, going into effect on January 1, 2004. While violators will be subject to fines of $250 and businesses that install them can be fined up to $1,000, surcharges and enforcement fees will bring it up to $850 and $3,400."
Stuff Black People Don't Like includes silenced whistle tips, one of the most powerful inventions in Black people's canon of inventions, that has now been silenced by the envious white power structure.

Thankfully, Black people still have out-Homered Homer Simpson in hideous cars, but they have lost whistle tips and will be forced to invent another noise maker to make up for this inexcusable loss.

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